Hump day

I can officially say I have made it over half way through the week without a cigarette.

I am so proud of myself for making it the 5+ days so far and so excited to see 1 week down.

I am still rather crabby at work but the cravings are starting to go away.

Now I am at school waiting for my class to start working on my paper for another class lol. I am so ready for this week to end.

I am so ready for March.

Cindy

Success

I survived my second day smoke free at work today.  I am not going to lie it is hard.  From my work I can see a gas station that sells many packs of cigarettes but I am keeping strong.

I am rocking this quit thing so far.  It is still difficult when I am stuck working inventory and there is nothing to do but count parts and wish for a smoke.

I just look bored out of my mind here lol.  After work was more of the same thing where the family works hard at being a good distraction.  Today they bought Frozen 2 and watched it with me like some good kids and boyfriend lol.

I even mad progress on my homework and actually have very little to do this weekend so I am trying to decide if the kids and I should do the zoo or the science museum.

I can tell you that since I quit I have been sleeping like crap and as a result have had no energy and a killer headache the last two days.  In a way I am wishing it was the weekend but, if it was I would be busting ass trying to get all my homework done so I can enjoy some family time.

So far I am doing well with my January and February goals but, March is in less than a week and I am so not ready to add a third thing to my list.  So, I have decided to go back to the dental thing and I made my last appointment for fillings in March so I can cross teeth off of my list all together.

So far for dental in the last year I have gotten 2 root canals, 2 crowns, 3 fillings, and 2 deep cleaning appointments (they numbed me up so they could clean my teeth that were that bad).  I still need 3 fillings and then I can get back to a regular every 3 month cleaning schedule.

For April I am thinking about making an appointment with my shrink and getting back on meds for depression and ADHD.

May is graduation and my goal is to finish my degree and participate in the graduation ceremony.

June will be get back to running hopefully.

But, for right now I am just trying to brush my teeth every day and not smoking.  So far so good.

Do you have any ideas for me to use for monthly goals?

See ya soon,

Cindy

Work day 1

I survived my first day back at work without a cigarette today. I wore a shirt that said what kind of a mood I was in.

Unfortunately my first day not at home also included having class at school.

Statistics class os not my cup of tea and I like it even less when I don’t have a cigarette to look forward to as my reward for surviving class.

On the up side I have made it over over 3 days and I know I can make it to 4 days.

I got this shit

Cindy

I got this

I have made it 2 days and 10 hours without a cigarette.

I feel like I am making progress but I know that the hardest part is yet to come.  I go back to work and school tomorrow.  I have never worked this job without having a smoke on my breaks.  I have never gone to class without having a smoke in my car before it starts.

I did find a few smoke free things to do today like see Playmobil at the Marcus theater.

I also managed to get all of my homework done for the week in one of my classes done already.  I figure that I should be ahead of the game all week now that I am not wasting all of my breaks outside puffing away.

I am nervous about my success tomorrow but, I believe in myself and I have faith that this will be my last quit.

Wish me luck because I know I am going to need it.

Cindy

Day 2 and all is well

Today after G’s dad picked him up for the weekend at noon, boyfriend, Z, and I went out and about so I could keep my mind off of smoking.

We started out with a fast food lunch at Taco Bell because that is my favorite fast food place ever!!!

Then went for a walk/bike ride on a trail with a water fall which ended at the local creamery for malts.

It was a good time and well worth the 2 mile round trip walk.  When we got home Z and I worked on her puzzle for a bit.

Now I am starting my reading homework for next week so I can get my stuff done ahead of time and not feel as rushed.

As for boyfriend and Z?  They had a long active day and are ready to call it quits.

I had a few cigarette cravings today and honestly if it wasn’t for the support from my family I would have faltered for sure.  Okay, I was also boosted by the amount of likes of my post yesterday that I received all day today and that totally made my day as well as making me want to keep it up so I don’t let everyone down.

I think I have narrowed my goal for next month down to two choices.  The first is finish all of my dental work which needs to get done.  The second is to make an appointment with a mental health professional to get back on medication.  I will do both eventually but with everything I have going on right now I can only accomplish one at a time.  I am leaning towards the dental thing because I can get all of that done in a month where as the mental health thing will be an ongoing thing and I can’t commit to that right now.

Does anyone have an opinion on that or have any ideas for other self improvement goals that are good to add to my list?

See you soon,

Cindy

Long time no update

It has been a long time since I have updated my little blog here.  I have fallen into a little bit of depression in the last year or so and as a result a lot of things have changed in my life.

My oldest son moved out this last summer and has only communicated with me 3 times by email since he left.  I have no clue where he is or what he is doing.  I miss him so much it hurts.

I have not ran in almost a year and want to get back to it if I can ever find the time.  I have gained 30+ pounds as a result of eating junk food and not exercising.

I was terminated from my job in May of 2019 for a bogus reason that I don’t want to talk about.  I started my current job in July and I am still trying to catch up on bills.  I do like my new job which pays a little less but is only 1.25 miles from home.

I am still in school and finishing up my last semester for criminal justice.  I am not sure if I will continue for my law enforcement degree or not.  Honestly I don’t even want to finish but the classes are already paid for.

The boyfriend and I are having relationship problems and I am not sure if we are still together or not.  He treats me more like a roommate than a girlfriend but we still share a bed at night.  I just want things to be fun and happy between us again.  I miss him so much it hurts.

Also I had my last cigarette ever at 9:45 am on February 14th 2020.  For the last 7 days I smoked 10 Black and mild cigars and my last puff of those was at 9:45 today February 21st 2020.  I have quit smoking several times before but this time will be different.  I am tired of being a smoker.  I am tired of smelling like smoke.  I am tired of literally burning my money.  But, most of all I am tired of missing things with my kids because I am outside puffing away.

For 2020 I am trying to start doing something to improve myself every month and at the end of the year I will be a whole new me.

In case you were wondering for January it was brushing my teeth at least once a day.  I grew up in a household that never made a big deal about oral hygiene and as a result at the age of 38 I have had 2 teeth pulled, 3 root canals with 2 crowns, and fillings in all of the remaining teeth.  So far I have succeeded with my goal and am now working on the second goal and planning the third.

So far my ideas for March are get all of the dental work that I still need to do done, get my homework done before the due date so I don’t have to scramble at the last minute, start running again, or something else I have not thought of yet.

I will update and share my progress soon,

Cindy

 

Five Finger

For Christmas I bought myself a pair of Vibram Five Finger running shoes.  I just did my 3rd run in them today and I am still not sure about them.

My big toe on both feet keeps rubbing funny on a seam or something and feels very sore after my run.

I don’t want to make it seem that I am over doing the trying new shoes because I am not.  I actually restarted the couch to 10k program solely to do a slow transition into these shoes.  I am not going to give up just yet.

I did my run at the YMCA again today because it is super cold out.

Tomorrow or Sunday I plan to go for a 3-4 mile run but I am going to wear my “normal” shoes for that lol.  I am just waiting for January to be over so the gym classes clear out again so I can have room to do the moves.

Day 2

Today I did some reading in my new book that my kids got me for Christmas.

I hope that all of this cross training will help me stay injury free this year.  

What sucked was that I lost track of time reading and missed my chance to sneak off to the gym for a bit.  I will go tomorrow I promise.

I did manage to do Day 2 of my 30 day workout plans so it wasn’t a total loss.

Day 1

Today I took my first steps to becoming a better me.  It is going to be hard and at times I am going to want to quit but I am worth it.

I started my day being a bum and watching tv but around 9:30 I got my butt motivated and headed off to the gym.  I had my run done around 11 and had most of the rest of the day to be lazy.

This was my first over 3 mile run since my stress fracture in September as well as my first run of the year.  It was a struggle mentally and physically but I did it and I know I can do it again.

I am loving my new shirt that I got for Christmas lol.

I also downloaded a few new apps to do at home on my off days.  I got 30 day squats, 30 day abs, 30 day arms, 30 day cardio, and 30 day pushups.  Because today is Janurary 1st I started them all on beginner level 1 and went for it.  It wasn’t very pretty but I got it done and will do it again tomorrow.

I also plan to try to make it to a class at the gym tomorrow so hopefully I can do both with working 8 hours and having kids at home as well.  I am not about to give up on the second day either.

We can do this…

New Year

As I sit here celebrating the new year with my 4 year old daughter I am reflecting on what I have accomplished in the last year.

I started out the year weighing in at 129.2 and today one year later I weighed in at 127.0 so a 2.2 pound loss.  I was down to around 120 or so until I broke my leg and my fitness got sidetracked.  I am just going to stick with I maintained the weight loss for a year so far.

My goal for the year beyond maintaining the weight loss was to run 1017 K for the year in the Map My Run challenge group.

I made it more that that coming in at 1627 K which is 1010.97 miles.  I hope to make that into 2000 K for 2018.

Also in 2017 I had my first ever broken bone, ran my first 10 K race, and signed up for my first 10 mile race to be run in 2018.  

I have many things to be proud of this year as well as some regrets.  I have learned that I need to cross train and not just run as my only form of fitness.  I have learned that streaking can be a bad thing and I was running way too much at the cost of my body and my family.

I plan to run no more than 3 days a week a week and cross train or strength train 3 days a week and having 1 day a week as an all around rest day.  I am not sure how long this will last but it is my starting plan to be tweaked as I love along with my fitness journey.