Success

I survived my second day smoke free at work today.  I am not going to lie it is hard.  From my work I can see a gas station that sells many packs of cigarettes but I am keeping strong.

I am rocking this quit thing so far.  It is still difficult when I am stuck working inventory and there is nothing to do but count parts and wish for a smoke.

I just look bored out of my mind here lol.  After work was more of the same thing where the family works hard at being a good distraction.  Today they bought Frozen 2 and watched it with me like some good kids and boyfriend lol.

I even mad progress on my homework and actually have very little to do this weekend so I am trying to decide if the kids and I should do the zoo or the science museum.

I can tell you that since I quit I have been sleeping like crap and as a result have had no energy and a killer headache the last two days.  In a way I am wishing it was the weekend but, if it was I would be busting ass trying to get all my homework done so I can enjoy some family time.

So far I am doing well with my January and February goals but, March is in less than a week and I am so not ready to add a third thing to my list.  So, I have decided to go back to the dental thing and I made my last appointment for fillings in March so I can cross teeth off of my list all together.

So far for dental in the last year I have gotten 2 root canals, 2 crowns, 3 fillings, and 2 deep cleaning appointments (they numbed me up so they could clean my teeth that were that bad).  I still need 3 fillings and then I can get back to a regular every 3 month cleaning schedule.

For April I am thinking about making an appointment with my shrink and getting back on meds for depression and ADHD.

May is graduation and my goal is to finish my degree and participate in the graduation ceremony.

June will be get back to running hopefully.

But, for right now I am just trying to brush my teeth every day and not smoking.  So far so good.

Do you have any ideas for me to use for monthly goals?

See ya soon,

Cindy

Work day 1

I survived my first day back at work without a cigarette today. I wore a shirt that said what kind of a mood I was in.

Unfortunately my first day not at home also included having class at school.

Statistics class os not my cup of tea and I like it even less when I don’t have a cigarette to look forward to as my reward for surviving class.

On the up side I have made it over over 3 days and I know I can make it to 4 days.

I got this shit

Cindy

Day 2 and all is well

Today after G’s dad picked him up for the weekend at noon, boyfriend, Z, and I went out and about so I could keep my mind off of smoking.

We started out with a fast food lunch at Taco Bell because that is my favorite fast food place ever!!!

Then went for a walk/bike ride on a trail with a water fall which ended at the local creamery for malts.

It was a good time and well worth the 2 mile round trip walk.  When we got home Z and I worked on her puzzle for a bit.

Now I am starting my reading homework for next week so I can get my stuff done ahead of time and not feel as rushed.

As for boyfriend and Z?  They had a long active day and are ready to call it quits.

I had a few cigarette cravings today and honestly if it wasn’t for the support from my family I would have faltered for sure.  Okay, I was also boosted by the amount of likes of my post yesterday that I received all day today and that totally made my day as well as making me want to keep it up so I don’t let everyone down.

I think I have narrowed my goal for next month down to two choices.  The first is finish all of my dental work which needs to get done.  The second is to make an appointment with a mental health professional to get back on medication.  I will do both eventually but with everything I have going on right now I can only accomplish one at a time.  I am leaning towards the dental thing because I can get all of that done in a month where as the mental health thing will be an ongoing thing and I can’t commit to that right now.

Does anyone have an opinion on that or have any ideas for other self improvement goals that are good to add to my list?

See you soon,

Cindy

Long time no update

It has been a long time since I have updated my little blog here.  I have fallen into a little bit of depression in the last year or so and as a result a lot of things have changed in my life.

My oldest son moved out this last summer and has only communicated with me 3 times by email since he left.  I have no clue where he is or what he is doing.  I miss him so much it hurts.

I have not ran in almost a year and want to get back to it if I can ever find the time.  I have gained 30+ pounds as a result of eating junk food and not exercising.

I was terminated from my job in May of 2019 for a bogus reason that I don’t want to talk about.  I started my current job in July and I am still trying to catch up on bills.  I do like my new job which pays a little less but is only 1.25 miles from home.

I am still in school and finishing up my last semester for criminal justice.  I am not sure if I will continue for my law enforcement degree or not.  Honestly I don’t even want to finish but the classes are already paid for.

The boyfriend and I are having relationship problems and I am not sure if we are still together or not.  He treats me more like a roommate than a girlfriend but we still share a bed at night.  I just want things to be fun and happy between us again.  I miss him so much it hurts.

Also I had my last cigarette ever at 9:45 am on February 14th 2020.  For the last 7 days I smoked 10 Black and mild cigars and my last puff of those was at 9:45 today February 21st 2020.  I have quit smoking several times before but this time will be different.  I am tired of being a smoker.  I am tired of smelling like smoke.  I am tired of literally burning my money.  But, most of all I am tired of missing things with my kids because I am outside puffing away.

For 2020 I am trying to start doing something to improve myself every month and at the end of the year I will be a whole new me.

In case you were wondering for January it was brushing my teeth at least once a day.  I grew up in a household that never made a big deal about oral hygiene and as a result at the age of 38 I have had 2 teeth pulled, 3 root canals with 2 crowns, and fillings in all of the remaining teeth.  So far I have succeeded with my goal and am now working on the second goal and planning the third.

So far my ideas for March are get all of the dental work that I still need to do done, get my homework done before the due date so I don’t have to scramble at the last minute, start running again, or something else I have not thought of yet.

I will update and share my progress soon,

Cindy